the boring stuff
my mom and i stayed up last night until 2am talking. something that we are uniquely capable of doing but need a few days to warm up to it
my mom, who visits me seldom, but comments on it often.
we talked about family and rushing and the horrible conundrum of taking up space
everyone is asking me what’s new how’s life and right now life is kind of whatever. the come down from an especially invigorating week followed by a busy week that asked me to take some time off from the fun stuff.
focus a little on the boring stuff.
the b o r i n g stuff
like hanging out at the park all night drinking buzz balls and taste tasting flights of ice cream
b o r i n g stuff
like sitting around a friends kitchen table recounting old breakups and preparing for potential moves
laying on the couch in anticipation of what if one day i need to sleep here
b o r i n g
stuff
like staying up until 2 am in my bed with my mom who traveled half a country to get to me
who is leaving tomorrow to visit a different city i called home once and thought i might call home again
but i could never
it’s too perfectly not boring here
i read a poem by raymond carver titled: Rain
in it he writes about never regretting the choice to stay in bed all day to read and write and laze around so wonderfully held by the rain
Would I live my life over again?
Make the same unforgiveable mistakes?
Yes, given half a chance. Yes.
this weekend it rained non stop from wednesday through monday. my pants were in a perpetual state of damp from the ankles up. i refused to stay in bed at all.
and yet, i refused to go outside to look at my tomatoes
avoiding the worry that those seedlings were overwhelmed by the water
leaning on & trusting that that they have to be far more resilient than that
in protest (avoidance) of being someone who ruins plants
i always end up falling in love with gardeners
an air sign
why should i be captivated by these people with dirt under their nails.
tomato plants
the boring stuff
i can be someone who does boring
i can do boring
let me do
b o r i n g
the plants aren’t dead but they are swimming
not floating
swimming.
