Who is The Sandwich Boyfriend🥪
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Who is the Sandwich Boyfriend? And are you one?
Back in February, I wrote a piece on the concept of Pasta Girlfriends. This essay was inspired by my love of the Instagram @Pastagirlfriend and my discovery of @pastagrannies. This essay was a very silly one and it inspired a discussion of what other types of food partners might be out there. The most popular to come out of the conversation is: The Sandwich Boyfriend. Arguably the antithesis of Pasta Girlfriend, Sandwich Boyfriend, is everything that Pasta Girlfriend is not and quickly it became clear that being a sandwich boyfriend is extremely desirable. But who is he?
For those who are unfamiliar with the concept of Pasta Girlfriend, I will provide a bit of background:
Anyone can be a pasta girlfriend of course. However there are certain people who elicit pasta girlfriend energy in a completely authentic and unintentional way. In the simplest of terms, a pasta girlfriend is someone who likes nice things. A pasta girlfriend never says no to ice cream but would rather go to the gelato shop than just for a 2 dollar cone from McDonald’s. A pasta girlfriend paid $200 to see the Era’s tour and exclusively drinks vodka lemonades, Ruby Grapefruit White Claws, and wine. Pasta girlfriends only drink oat milk in their lattes but love a gooey grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner. This being said, there are some pasta girlfriends who may not resonate with these identifiers but maintains their pasta girlfriend status. Sometimes a pasta girlfriend is just a pasta girlfriend because they are.
It is not easy, but it is a powerful strength to be able to identify when someone is a pasta girlfriend just because, and I have faith that many of us have that strength.
Here is a list of well-known people who I think are Pasta Girlfriends: Rachel and Ross from friends, Barbie, Harry Styles, and for some reason both my grandpa and my uncle John. My mom is not a pasta girlfriend but she would think that she is. President Barack Obama is certainly a pasta girlfriend and so is his wife First Lady Michelle Obama. The Yankees are pasta girlfriend but the Mets are not. Sushi is pasta girlfriend but a Sushi restaurant lunch special (sushi roll, miso soup, and a side of edamame for $20) is not. A lot about Manhattan is pasta girlfriend, but everything about Brooklyn is not. Central Park is, but Washington square park is not. Prospect Park is pasta boyfriend (more on that later). A rooftop bar is pasta girlfriend and so is “spinning vinyl all night.”
Need further explanation? You can give me a call.
Now that we have a grasp on Pasta Girlfriend, what is a Sandwich Boyfriend?
I mentioned above, a sandwich boyfriend is everything that a pasta girlfriend is not. However, a sandwich boyfriend and a pasta girlfriend are more similar than you might think. They both are queued into the things that are important to them. It is just the arenas in which they operate that are different. You may be imagining a sandwich boyfriend as someone who steps out of their Brooklyn 3rd-floor walk-up and immediately throws down their skateboard hops on and rides into traffic with a walkman, and a BEC from the bodega in hand. There certainly are some sandwich boyfriends who are this guy on paper and power to them. However, like the pasta girlfriend, a sandwich boyfriend is a bit more complex.
A sandwich boyfriend is distinctively cool. They are a little bit against the grain, and their older relatives may have always defined them as somewhat of an “alternative.” A sandwich boyfriend isn’t afraid to get a little dirty. They always choose dare instead of truth, and they have never lost a what are the odds in their entire life. A sandwich boyfriend wears vintage LL Bean but not because he sourced it from the thrift store, but because he hasn’t changed his wardrobe since 9th grade and that button-down is now 15 years old.
Surprisingly, a sandwich boyfriend is a really good cook and loves the farmer’s market but doesn’t go for flowers or fresh bread. A sandwich boyfriend goes for cage-free eggs, smoked trout, and king trumpet mushrooms. A sandwich boyfriend is a gate keep (pasta girlfriend is a girl boss, ofc). A sandwich boyfriend is a taco bell crunch wrap and a green baja blast. A sandwich boyfriend is postcard and backpack and Saturday morning cartoons. My brother is a sandwich boyfriend but my dad is not. Ridgewood, Queens is sandwich boyfriend but Flushing, Queens is not. The Philadelphia Eagles are sandwich boyfriend but the San Francisco 49ers are not. Minnesota is sandwich boyfriend but St. Olaf college is not. Larry David is sandwich boyfriend but Jerry Seinfeld is not. Sheridan Ash is sandwich boyfriend but Brennan Brink is not.
Now that we’ve broken it down. You might be wondering. What does it matter? And in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t. But it sure is silly and fun, huh?
I can’t go too deep into the rest because truly I could write an entire book about my theories on Sandwich vs. Pasta people but there are two additional categories that you may have heard of if you are well versed in the culture: Pasta boyfriends and Sandwich girlfriends. I am here to make a case that while many of us want to be sandwich boyfriends or pasta girlfriends, most of us actually fall into these other two categories. Sandwich boyfriends and Pasta girlfriends are the extremes. They are the cardinal, fire, and earth signs of it all. Sandwich girlfriends and pasta boyfriends are more the mutable, water, and air signs of it all. (This may sound like a different language to you and that is fine). Those of us who don’t resonate entirely as sandwich boyfriends and pasta girlfriends may take comfort in these other two categories which are built for those of us who can’t decide, or who take pleasure in far too many things for our own good. Being a pasta boyfriend for example means that some days you want to drink a bottle of sparkling wine at happy hour and a tecate with lime at night. Being a sandwich girlfriend represents those who love a baseball game but love the cotton candy even more.
I love a pasta girlfriend. I love someone who has a high taste, knows what she wants, and isn’t going to settle for much less. Similarly, I love a sandwich boyfriend. Someone who knows they’re cool. Has their pulse on the nichest of niches. But in all reality, I will never be one of these people. I will always be a little too basic to be a sandwich boyfriend and I will always be a little too weird to be a pasta girlfriend. I’ll settle for the middle, and I think in the end, I’ll be happier there.
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